Finding what can make you happy isnt the only thing you should do, though. It is equally important that you learn how to get rid of the unnecessary things in your life. You need to realize that you are just wasting your time by caring about those things that dont really matter to you. This is easier said than done, of course, because it could be very painful to stay away from these unnecessary things. But once you learn to accept that they shouldnt be any of your concern, you will start to feel free and happier.
Here are some of the things you should stop caring for if you want to experience real happiness:
AGE: Happy people think of age merely as a number. Your age is a number that will never stop increasing, and this is what you should accept. Also, you must not let this number define who you are as a person and what you can do. Happy people have mastered the art of doing what they want regardless of their age. Remember also that life is too short, so you cannot afford to waste any moment you are given to live. The best thing you can do is make the most of it. Its worth mentioning also that your age should not dictate who you should date and fall in love with.
WHAT OTHERS THINK OR SAY ABOUT YOU: Caring about what other people think or say about you is just like allowing them to run your life! Nobody else could know how exactly you feel and what you are capable of doing. Those who are happy know how to block out the words from other people. They never let other peoples opinions discourage them from what they want to do and achieve in life. For you to be truly happy, you need to base your decisions only on your personal beliefs and core values.
JOBS: This doesnt mean that you have to be unemployed to be happy. What this means is that having or not having a job should not define how happy or unhappy you are going to be. Needless to say, your job is an important source of stability in your life, and so you should think of it that way only. Make sure that your responsibilities at work and even your status are left in the workplace. Never take them home with you. One common source of stress and boredom is a persons inability to separate work life and personal life.
FEAR: There is no such thing as fear. This is what happy people believe in. Yes, there may be things or events in your life that make you uncomfortable and anxious, but they shouldnt, in any way, affect how you would like to live your life. Overcoming your fears is a continuous process, though, but when you do so, you will feel better about yourself and you will feel like there is nothing that could stop you from living life the way you want to.
NEGATIVE PEOPLE: There will always be those annoying people who are full of negativity in their lives, but this doesnt mean you should let them into your life. The kind of people you surround yourself with plays a very important role in how happy you can be. By being with positive and energetic people, you can find many reasons to be positive as well. Even when things dont go your way at times, the personality of the people you are with can definitely change your mindset and attitude.
THE PAST AND THE FUTURE: There is nothing you can do about your past, and there is no reason for you to worry about the future. All you should think about is the present if you want to find happiness. No matter how terrible things were in your past, you cant do anything about it. As for what may happen in the future, whats the use of keeping your mind busy with expectations? Planning your future is good, but worrying about it doesnt make sense. Thinking too much of whats behind and ahead of you would only prevent you from appreciating whats in front of you.
REWARD: If you are doing things for the sake of getting something in return, you wont find real happiness. Yes, you may be fulfilled, but can you really find contentment and satisfaction? Chasing the rewards you may get out of your efforts cannot guarantee happiness. You need to learn to do things not because of what you may get from them, but because of how good you feel doing these things. In short, be driven by your passion. Happy people dont always get something in return, but not expecting at all is how they avoid getting disappointed.
Finding happiness is much like career management- it is a difficult task and not everyone is successful in doing it. As a matter of fact, there is no end in the process of living a happy life. But of course that doesnt mean being truly happy is impossible. Many people have successfully navigated their way to a fulfilling life, so there is no reason for you not to do the same.
Cecile Peterkin is a certified career and retirement coach, and a registered member of the Career Professionals of Canada and the International Coach Federation. She is also the Founder and Senior Career Strategist at Cosmic Coaching Centre, provider of career and life management services for middle managers and mid-career professionals across Canada, United States and Europe.